Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Run on the treadmill or eat a cookie?

After saying to my friend, Daryl, "I feel like running on a treadmill OR...Eating a cookie!" last night she said I should blog about it.

Our friend Rick passed away a few weeks ago from a heart attack and yesterday I found that a classmate had died.

Rick was a wonderful and kind friend and tremendous husband to his wife. I don't think he had made 60 years yet. Pam was a wife and mother and was my age (35). They had ONE thing in common....OBESITY! I would feel comfortable writing this blog if it weren't for my personal fight with my weight (My WHOLE life). If I were one of the 'naturally thin' people I would likely just shake my head and wonder how on earth a person got there...but this I know. Furthermore, when it comes down to reality though a car accident was the precipitating event that lead to my mother's death...her heart failed in the surgery to repair her injuries and worse yet, she wore her seatbelt wrong b/c she didn't like it on her stomach, mom was 38.

I know they all had tried and had success with weight loss. I know Rick had tried MANY. Pam I only know from Weight Watchers and school. I do not pretend to know their whole stories.

I know MINE. I CAN lose weight and I often do. I get myself motivated I work hard, I count calories (or points) and I make better choices. THEN....stress comes around and all I want is to do whatever I want. My inner two year old says "you can have oreos if you want them" and I listen to her. She is a bad two year old. Yesterday at the moment I realized there has to be a lesson in this, my friend and my classmate can't have died for Oreos (or pizza or) I have to not be them. Pam left behind a daughter....it is my terrible fear to leave Duncan behind.

So last night when telling Daryl and I said "i feel like I need to get on the treadmill" Then I paused and said "or eat a cookie" It was real it was what I felt and it is the root of the problem. Our battle isn't with 10 or 100lbs it is with those single decisions. Get on the treadmill and if you have to have a cookie...ONE cookie.


Joanne Kennedy said...

Oh I hear you on the weight issues. You are so right. Each and every choice we make is what leads us to the life we have today.

I'm doing WW right now and rather then doing it forever I'm doing one week at a time. That week is broken down to one day at a time and then one meal at a time.

It's hard. Very hard. When one has found comfort in food their whole life it's hard to cope without it.

But it is possible.

Hope you got on the treadmill rather then eat the cookie.


Anonymous said...

Hello friend!Sorry to be so late in coming by- just can't seem to catch up lately!!
So sorry to hear about your friend. I think food is a struggle for almost all of us even if it doesn't show. I am skinny like my dad but eat terrible at times-


Dogwood said...

Wow, what a powerful post. Thanks. I am not overweight but do suffer from bad cholestrol. So, I have that same battle with my two year old saying, "Oh, it is OK to have that second helping of ice cream." I continually battle with my love of sugar. Exercise and greens.

Have a nice weekend.